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Will Rogers – " to lighten it up ! "

Will Rogers – “ to lighten it up ! “

Found my 1935 book on him recently.

Use it in my decades of STS – NSF research of course to help better illustrate come points.

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He was “ very humorous “ since he told the “ truth “ that way !

Just go a Google search of course, but some “ tidbits “ to try to show “ not much has changed “ in Washington, DC since the 1930 ‘s ! 

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“ Same old same old “  just different “ amateur “  comedian politicians -  Will was professional !

I will change the language a little since he spoke and wrote differently – the rural outsider – not well educated, but knew it when he saw it – he spoke to all even the common folk in simple common language – difficult to be misunderstood of course, like so many like it to be in the media  !

“ All just laughed at his humor ! “  – leaders, politicians, the common folk, etc. from around the world for many years.  They were just “ honored “  to be noticed by him !

All knew he never did a mean thing, even with his “ cracks “ about politicians – his main topic –“  I hit the fellow on top, not below – if he laughs, he is ok ! “

But always said the “ unexpected thing, in an unexpected way at the most unexpected moment ! “

He had a very unique personality, look, clothes, hat, hair, gum chewer, cowboy who loved to ride horses, rope cattle, etc.- instantly recognized even just by his voice !

He said the amount of gum he has chewed came under the heading of “ manufacturing statistics ! “

Never lost the “ common touch ! “

Very generous to so many charities also.

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Remember – I have always been registered as an “ independent “ voter – just best for the job, not the party line – so I present the following in that spirit !=========================================================

Hope you get a few “ chuckles “ to brighten up your day in some small way !  Give you something to keep thinking and laughing about & some will ask why – tell them so they can too !

Enjoy !

He always stressed he was not a member of any “  organized “  party – he was a “ democrat ! “

He also “ hit on “ just as much  the Republicans also !

They just keep passing those laws, never reading any of them of course.

We need a new law – that every time they pass a new law, they have to immediately pass one to fund it !

It snowed in Washington the other day, but it was hard to see due to all the lobbyists laying around !

He said he was not anyone special – he got all he knew from reading the newspapers !

So he met FDR one day at the White House  – President Roosevelt in the 1930’s & 1940’s – for those younger who may not know – FDR was laughing so hearty with his head thrown back as was typical of him – Will asked why was he laughing so hard ?  – he just said he was just reading what they were saying about him in the newspapers !

No stenographers for Congress in 1833 – they could all write then !

He traveled the world and in many countries he did not know their language [he had enough trouble with his own he said ! ] and they did not know his – so he just did his famous rope tricks and they were communicating  just fine !

He did the same when his jokes did not go over with a crowd when he performed !

Swinging a rope is ok if your neck is not in it !

They have some sort of a conference before every war, to stop wars, just stop those conferences !

Why is everyone so interested in the presidential election, why you would think the president runs the country !

One of the congressmen decided to read the constitution aloud on the floor of congress – most congressmen [note they were all men then I believe – but not today of course !] thought he was just  reading a review of his new book !

But when they found out it was the constitution, the realized “ all the laws we already  had ! “

There is no credit being a comedian when you have the whole government working for you – I just report the facts with no exaggeration !

Every time Congress makes a law, it is joke and vice versa !

Congress learned to listen to him, a few adverse words by him meant the end of that piece of legislation.

At one show for a president, after it, the president said now will you tell all the jokes you tell about me ?

The bet.”  Could e get so silent President Cal to even crack a smile? “ Well Will was introduced to him and Will bent over and whispered in Cal’s  his ear “ Sorry I did not get name ? “  Will got Cal to smile !

Meeting a politician Will said I am just a “ humorous “  writer and the politician replied that he was a “ serious “  writer, then Will said maybe we are “ both  wrong ! “

In Congress they are always so polite – “ the gentleman from New York  says I yield to the gentleman from Maine. “  Should it not be – “ they coyote from New York yields to the polecat from Maine ? “

Congress just appropriated more money than any in the past, but that is ok, we are not paying our national  debts anyway ! 

On that he should run for congress -  “ Do you want a congressman who is funny on purpose ? “

We will not only give the farmer “ relief, “ we will “ cure “  him of being a farmer !

After the big crash of October 1929, some said was due to the Republicans, “it is the end of the Republican party,”  so they will be going to the grave, but the Democrats will also be crawling in there with them pretty soon !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

He visited Italy and saw the “  ruins of the Roman Empire “ and commented – “ They had a senate too, but we also have a house of representatives, so we should do it much better and faster ! “

No US Marines – none in one country – must have been one of our so called enemy countries !

The rich “ They could be just as good as anybody else if they were given an equal chance ! “

Bankers “ Nicest bunch to foreclose on a widow ever

 met ! “

Elections and Halloween – the most fun – On Halloween, we put pumpkins on our heads, the politicians do not have too ! [As Halloween approaches of course ! ]

Olympics – 50 nations coming, either a success or a war – come, you do not want to miss it either way !

Some politicians say if elected they will pull us out of this financial hole – so just elect them to prove the “  liars “  they are ! 

Personally I think this is the right year for a “ good man to be defeated ! “

America, great nation 1900 – 1942 – many odd inventions to get somewhere, but could not think of any when they got there !

They investigated Wall Street but could not dig it all out – list was over 24,000 !

Taxes – they tax the boot, but not the shoe, the caps, but not the hat, etc. – about as nonsensical as the things that they did do !

On his bad grammar – “ did not know they were buying grammar now, I thought it was ideas and thoughts that count – I write like I talk – any bad grammar ain’t  intentional ! 

Wrote for 350 daily and 200 Sunday newspapers from coast to coast for about 40 million readers – so some found “ fault “ with him and even some of the editors – his comment was that  “  he was in no way responsible for any of the comments of the editors – as long as it kept their subscriptions up and filled just space in their publications, some may even be humorous ! “  Opps  !

He visited England and stopped by the palace – just knocked on the door and said

 “ they were over visiting in the USA recently and told me to just drop by anytime I was in town ! “  They all  had lunch together that day !

At one event, he said “Wish the guy who writes my stuff could be here  to talk for me ! “

On him stopping writing for a publication – “ they got behind in their payments and suddenly I could not think of a single joke ! “

It was during prohibition and at a big banquet  he got a standing ovation – he said

 “ Sit down you are going to tip over your booze bottles under your chairs ! “

He usually preferred to go to eat lunch with the those in the production they  was doing together – then when  they went to pay for their lunches he already had paid for them all  !

Many a “ supposed “ old cowboy would great him on the street – Will would just say

 “ You look like you got rode hard in life “ and press money in his hand and just walk away !.

“ America can whip a nation,  but it harder to collect a dollar from them !  When we go abroad we are as welcome as rent collectors ! “

In California back then, the legislature adjourned because of lack of funds.  Nothing will dampen the public spirit than cutting off the salary ! “

No one likes his cause as much as he likes to just talk about it ! “

He observed in England one group about 100 yards apart from their opposing group with half of London between them just “  laughing “ – both opposing groups just left !

When he visited England and a female member of their parliament and she came to one of his shows – he had great difficulty getting her to “ stand up “  to be recognized – when she did, he said “ but in Parliament they had a difficult time to get you to  “ sit down ! “

He always recognized those in attendance, usually for a joke on them. So when “ Lucky Lindy  “ – if do not know Google him - was at one, he made Will a bet, Will would “ not “ be able to call on him to stand up – Will said “ most difficult bet I ever won ! “  But Charles,  so popular  “as  Lucky Lindy,  “ was really a very “ shy ‘ person – so Will respected his wishes, besides winning the bet of course – not the money but the  “ win ! “

There were no mail robberies during the Democratic administration – they never knew when the mail was coming !

“ War “  – but I am not naming  the country – not USA !  – Will -  “ You cannot get a war with them at the last minute – you have to book it way ahead of time – they even keep score – yea, won 3  out of 5 and still in the last division – have to do better next year ! “

“ We could not join in, we were already two bonuses behind from the last one ! “

Passing bills in Congress – usual procedure – won’t read it, nobody knows what is in it and will vote for it in the usual way – all in favor say “ Aye “ –Ayes have it – but something is the matter, they coming “ so slow “ today !

Getting rid of crime – just “  tax it “ so high the criminals cannot afford it and the new taxes will help with the debt !

They are as busy passing appropriation bills like hot biscuits at a country farmhouse ! “

A holding company is where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you ! “

One thing about farmer’s relief, it will not last long, there is not much more left to relieve them of ! “

Two Americans cannot meet today without one banging the gavel and calling the other to order !

Two senators came to visit him and were told they were “ only senators, “ so they should just wait and come back tomorrow !

How does he get by with all his jokes “ I am not for anything, not selling anything, not  promoting a remedy for anything ! “

When asked if the field of humor is crowded, he replied only when Congress is in session ! “

After all the big dinners, his favorite meal was almost nightly  chili – in NYC but “ hole in wall “ – sitting on one of the stools at the counter – he said of the owner  “ A Swede running a chili joint – now that is a great gag ! “   Said he could only make his $500 speeches [ a lot in those days money and number wise also] by eating the chili “ both” before and after ! – a simple man with simple tastes !

The president made a speech the other day and Congressmen will immediately “ misunderstand “  him !

He would never go back to his hometown to give a show since it would not be successful – all would say “ Will would be just saying all the things he said around here for so long ! “ They had heard it all so many times before for free, now to pay for it – no way !

It is a great country but you cannot live here for nothing.

A particular politician – “ no man ever so investigated and dined at the same time, keeps three [3] decorations ahead of the investigating committees ! “

Someone who had too  much to drink looking for a fight was in Will’s seat after his speech at a banquet  - it was baseball season so he just said to all at the banquet with his famous grin  “ I am playing this  base, you are out in center field  ! Or should it have been “ left “ field ?

“ Today, nobody has the right to be old folks ! :”

Hen eggs are more valuable than duck eggs since the hen “ cackles “  to advertise her product ! “  Media take note !

Truth in advertising is the “ grad school course for liars ! “

Will said he did not go into politics as a necessity, he was already rich !

Will also said I do not want to go into politics since up to now I have always tried to live  “ an honest life ! “

They wanted to give him an honorary college degree and he said “ What you want to now make a joke of college degrees ? “

But he was named “ Congressman-at-large “  by the National Press Club – to continue his work commenting on politics – salary was $1 / year – suspended !

Once he visited Washington to visit some of the politicians,  but they were all out of town and asked who was running the country – answer  “ Why nobody that is why things are starting to pick up ! “

He was asked where he made his first speech – “Why at the AMCA – I complained about the showers ! “

Suggested a special award for the “ worst loosing yacht builder,  but the most cheerful looser “  & NYC Mayor Walker made it so !

On more mail he got -  “ Signs of better times, more people have money to throw away on postage stamps ! “

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This blog is long too, but not even close to his many jokes, but his life was way too short !

His death -  plane crash in far away  Alaska – if a God, planned that way for many reasons ?  – estimated 100,000 – 150,000 people silently filed past, - no pushing / fighting – in blazing hot sun – 3 women to 1 man – babes in arms – roads jammed for miles – many unable to get there – many bearing out of state license plates – a little man’s handful of flowers from his garden seemed to be the most appropriate !

First mourner had taken his place at 1 am  for the 8 am opening !

Four Oklahoma Indians with special invitations to the private services came in their dilapidated car !

As one of the so many eulogies noted “ The book is closed, but the life is not ended ! “

But “  the show did not go on “ – all stopped for one full hour in all studios and much longer for many others ! “

Read the rest elsewhere,   if you can – keep that box of tissues handy for you sensitive ones  !

Nobody will ever be a Will Rogers again !  

But we sure could use another one today !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

“ And so it goes !                                                            

Frank

P.S.

As one of my internet radio DJ’s / IJ’s noted – When there is a disaster in the world we are the first to give the most – when we have a disaster – who in the world gives anything ?  Guess I missed the long list – let me know where it is so I can look it up for my decades STS-NSF research – if it exists, you may have a hard time finding

 it  !

But after 9 / 11  President Bush said –“  yes the flowers, condolences, etc. are nice – but arrest some terrorists ! “

I am not a big fan of him, but hey – another blog of course !

“ No new terrorist attacks “  – we have to be 100 % right all the time, the terrorists just once anytime – so how do you prevent that one attack ?

Notice many criticize presidents – but the still living presidents do not – “ been there done that “ – they all get gray so quickly !

Simply, they know a lot more than we should ever know !

Just read Tom Clancy and you may find out why ?

As the saying goes, “ if you need a friend in Washington, DC – just get a dog  !  A lot of them today will need a whole kennel !

Read the book – it is a real hoot !  Some even slept with them !

BTW – my grad work was in Washington, but that is another blog !

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In my immigrant family, Will and FDR were just “ Gods “  – they gave “ hope “  when there was none in so many ways for so many years – depression, WW I, WW II,

etc.  !

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Tom Brokaw’s book “ The Greatest Generation ! “  But not many left !

Three cheers for those politicians –“  the few good ones  “ – not all bad – who pushed the wheel chairs of the WW II vets for the first and last visits to the new WW II memorial thru the barricades !

Security wisely just took their coffee break early !

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Song “ Happy days are hear again “ now playing on my internet radio station !

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Truman was a different story for my Grandfather, a “ dyed in the wool always a democrat, “  not independents like my parents  - not so much – ‘ HST – well he said Hxxxx Sxxx Truman ! – something to do with horse feces !

We made regular visits to Hyde Park from Troy, NY !

But that is all for another blog if you are interested.

But sure would like to hear “ your “ stories – continue to educate us all – life is so short and so much too learn – of course not for those who think they already know it all  !

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